from our most recent visit, updates on each one
First-aid and grooming workshops
Twice a year, usually February and November, we visit COAR and learn each child’s story: the new girls, successes and challenges of those we already know, and any news of those who have moved on. This is a special story we heard on our latest visit. We will call her “Dolores” to protect her identity.
Dolores came to COAR at nine years old, through the court system, after being rescued from horrible sexual abuse by her family and those they had invited to abuse her.
She was both quiet but also acted out occasionally with anger and frustration and especially resisted hygiene and cleanliness. That is a complicated subject for many survivors of abuse.
At a Christmas lunch for the girls, which included a few guests, Dolores saw a young guest, about seven years old, walking out of the party. She fell to the ground, began wailing and flailing her limbs. One housemate grabbed and cradled her head to prevent harm. Two others each grabbed an arm to steady her. And two others each held a leg. They talked soothingly.
For two hours, during bouts of incoherence, Dolores revealed that she was having flashbacks to her own abuse and that of her younger sister, from the age of two years old. Dolores had sometimes offered herself to spare her sister from abuse.
Field trip
Trust workshop
The girls holding her head, arms, and legs, had also experienced abuse. But they held her. They did not let her go. They know her pain; they know more than anyone should ever know.
Hours later, after a very long night, Dolores came back to herself. Her housemates also seemed exhausted but purged. They have not talked about it with the other houses of girls. They seem to have each processed it in their own way, being very gentle with each other.
“Gentleness” is something new in the demeanor of a few of these girls.
Our staff, trained to deal with this, stayed with them all night and stayed closer than usual the next few days. The healing has continued, with setbacks, and then more progress.
As we approach Lent and Easter, a time to face the sorrow of fallen humanity and the hope of resurrection, please picture that Christmas at COAR, a place that you have made possible.
NOTE: Dolores is not pictured here. Her sister was removed from the family and is awaiting a final placement by the Salvadoran childcare agency.
Mural of the 1980 Martyrs in Zaragoza